I have no words. No words to express the grief and sorrow I feel for dear friends of ours. This news hit me on a particularly bad day for me personally, and has rocked me to the core. All I can do is cry out to the Lord for His comfort and mercy for them.
We love you, Ben & Amy, Cole, Caroline, and Jane.
With Deep Sadness
Today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. While I became aware of this special day several years ago in the midst of battling infertility, I'd forgotten the actual date until a dear friend reminded me this morning. A dear friend whose baby was due this week, but was lost at 23 weeks pregnancy. So today, I think of Chance, of Miracle Joy, of Cooper, of my two little angels, of Ben & Amy's first baby, and so many more.
It seems that you don't become aware of how common miscarriage, still birth, and other infant deaths are until you join the ranks. Unfortunately, people frequently don't openly talk about this dark part of their lives. Then, when it happens to you or someone you love, people seem to come out of the woodwork, telling stories of babies who went to heaven before their time.
It's been years since my miscarriages. 2002 and 2005 seem so long ago, but on days like today, I am taken back to that place, that day when I knew the end was near and it all comes back. Comes back so clearly, so fresh, and the grief starts again. So today, amidst the grief for myself and my friends who have lost little loves, I say a prayer and think of all those sweet babies sitting at the feet of Jesus rejoicing in His presence and waiting on their parents to join them.
One of the advantages of living so far North is that the sunrise comes relatively late in the morning in Fall and Winter. This morning the sunrise was stunning, breathtakingly beautiful. I'm going to use this as a reminder of the beauty of Wisconsin when the snow begins to fall and it's 20 below.
The Little Dude's birthday isn't until Wednesday, the 7th, but Mema and PopPop were in town this past Friday, so we had his birthday celebration with them. You'll notice that this year he requested a much easier cake "a rectangle with dots on it." Super easy and made the little guy happy.
OK, it's official, I've been bitten by the bug...the running bug. Last night, I dreamed that I got up and showered first thing. While in my shower, I realized I had missed yet another day of running (in reality, I had not run since Friday thanks to a stomach bug over the weekend). I was devastated, bummed, down trodden. Then, the alarm went off, jolting me from this dream and I realized I could in fact still run this morning. I was elated! I dislodged myself from my spot snuggling between my two favorite guys and headed out. It was a cool, crisp fall morning. 46 degrees, with a windchill of 41. I took a deep breath and quickly found my stride, enjoying a blissful 35 minute 3 miles. I was even a little disappointed that I "only" did three miles, still taking it easy as I recover from the other bug. Yes, I am looking forward to a lovely cool morning to run a full 4 tomorrow!
On the spur of the moment, our great friends came up North for a business trip. Since Heather homeschools, she and the boys were able to come with. We had a fabulous weekend catching up, and our kids were thrilled with the surprise.
Saturday I ran my first ever 5K. I chose to participate in the Time Warner Cable 5K that is a part of the Fox Cities Marathon Festival of Races. The 5K benefits local Breast Cancer Research and support for local patients. I started training seriously back in June when I picked up running as exercise. I've found so many benefits from running that I can't stop now. It's just too good for me. So, since I'm running, I may as well run for a good cause and push myself a bit in competition. I wasn't prepared for the adrenaline rush of my first race. Wow! What a fun time!
To boot, I finished faster than my goal time of 34 minutes when I came in at 29.09 (at a pace of 9.23). That put me 303rd of 939 total participants, 26th in my age group (of 98), and 139th among the women (of 601). For my first race, I'm still shocked at my results. I'll be participating in my 2nd race October 24th to raise money for the area YMCA. Hoping and praying that my training continues to pay off and that my time will continue to get better.
But as of today I'm still sore and tired.
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